New Job

good to have you back on our team.

Damn Joe, Portland has brained washed you. I only meat that comes from the southern hemisphere. Because as the saying goes "America's meat licks the balls of monkeys, while Peruvian meat is God" -- it loses a little something in the translation, but you get the point.

uhh, not really brainwashed. i would put your golden calf burger up against an oregon burger any day of the week. and i wouldn't have to ship it all the way up from south america either.

I'm sure portland burgers are wonderful but do you really think it has the upper hand of mid-western meat?

9 out of 10 taste buds agree, west is the best.

actually, that is a great question. the answer is, i would take new seasons beef over omaha steaks any day.

but joe, omaha steaks is graded PRIME beef, while new seasons beef is only graded CHOICE-SELECT! prime beef is more tender, has more marbling, and tastes as good as my girlfriend's wet panties!

while that may be true to some people, it is like comparing apples to bananas.

the conscientious meat eater must remember that PRIME beef does not occur in the animal naturally. the only way a cow produces prime beef is to feed it with corn.

corn? but joe, i thought cows eat grass. whenever you see a cow, it is always eating grass!

not so my friends, when we started feeding cows all the extra corn we have just laying around, we found that it makes the cows a lot fatter a lot faster! and that much tastier too!

but... cows DO eat grass. in fact, they have a special organ called a "rumen" which is meant to convert grass into a healthy cow. humans can't eat grass but we sure can eat cow! people eat cows, cows eat grass, grass absorbs sunlight. its a little thing we call the food chain. remember that from elementary school?

but back to my point, cows can't produce PRIME without feeding them corn. but when cows are fed corn, they become crippled by their own weight, their young bodies can't handle the stress and they become diseased too. they contaminate other cows with their diseases and produce retarded calves.

enter: ANTIBIOTICS! PRESERVATIVES! and other chemicals. thank god for antibiotics, that we can keep this retarded overweight diseased cow alive for longer, at least long enough for it to produce some milk, maybe a calf, and reach PRIME status. but.... uh oh! over time, the cows begin to develop immunities to the antibiotics and we have to come up with new stronger chemicals to keep them alive.

well, you must be wondering what the food chain looks like now. people eat retarded diseased overweight crippled cows, which are injected with antibiotics upon antibiotics, the cows eat corn, corn that is basically a waste product of our national corn surplus, corn which is genetically altered and sprayed with chemicals, corn that is ruining the environment, corn which is putting farmers out of business, and oh yeah, the corn absorbs the sunlight, but i'm pretty sure this mutant crop could grow in the dark too.

new seasons, by providing grass fed beef (and other animals) is setting a trend, and it is hot in portland. eating local supports many regular values that many regular people have, especially with meat.

but joe, we want that PRIME rib, motherfucker! well, i understand. if you can accept all the crazy shit that happens with our national beef, our mutant corn, and our crippled environment, then please go right ahead. but they say that in 50 years we won't be growing our own food in this country anymore and i for one don't want to see this happen. our beef system doesn't seem likely to hold up, so what then?

just one more thing.... if the metro population is no longer interested in PRIME grade beef then why is Portland such an attractive destination for young chefs and a hub of culinary temptations? well, it is because grass-fed beef has a distinct and natural earthy flavor that comes only from the grass upon which it was raised, grass fed beef in oregon tastes like oregon and oh yes, it is fresh too. just as grass fed beef in illinois or nebraska would probably have their own distinct flavor.

i think people are wanting to go back to the earth for their food and will discover a great complexity in natural locally grown food that is historically the makeup of our traditional menu.

That is way a to involved opinion for me when it comes to simply buying meat. If the good stuff is clearly marked and in front of me or at the farmer market by my house I will get it but other I just don't eat at Mcdonalds or the like

well, i may be brainwashed a little. but while its true that you can't change the world by shopping, your dollar is still one powerful political tool, especially as food prices rise. also it is worth noting that the USDA, the administrative organization that grades meat and certifies meat departments, i think, is probably full of shit.

some vids from new seasons...

http://www.newseasonsmarket.com/dynamicContent.aspx?loc=49&subloc=1&menuId=826&mc=491
http://www.newseasonsmarket.com/dynamicContent.aspx?loc=973&subloc=1&menuId=875

let me just plug the omnivore's dilemma one more time. its a sweet book. trust me.

so... here's a little something fun for putting up with my ranting.
whoever this asshole is, is fucking retarded. but its one of those situations where i can't find the particular song in any other form on the internet.
just turn up the volume, press play, and look away.

these are the coolest pictures from forty pages of a google image search for the word "butcher". enjoy!









from a page called the blowgun hunter - http://www.geocities.com/blowgunhunter/butcher.html




And here is a nice link that might be helpful to you at the store. contains some things i never knew. yes, there are things i don't know, even though i act like i do.

how to talk to your butcher - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6708310/

and finally, a nice cut of meat named paige butcher... working behind a meat counter kindof gives the term, "a nice piece of ass" a new meaning.

don't forget the seafood!

where did my picture of paige butcher go?

here is a little factoid...

when cutting an animal carcass into "primal cuts" (those chunks of animal that are then divided into steaks), it is called "breaking" the animal.



a guy told me that today who learned butchery from a 40 year veteran butcher. he said he was disappointed new seasons didn't do their own breaking, and i was like, what the hell is that? but he said he's never experienced the volume we do at our store. our store is the highest volume store of the nine new seasons stores in portland. i guess NE portland really likes their meat.

this one hot chick told me she eats meat at least five times a day. and i told her, i would be happy to deliver the meat to her personally fresh daily. and then i waved a sausage in her face. it is a proven fact that hot chicks can't resist it when you wave sausages in their face.

i wish we had meat hooks though. our primal cuts are delivered in plastic in boxes.

one of our lead meat cutters is a vegetarian hessian. crazy crazy world we live in, friends.

food for thought: why is it that we call cow meat, beef, pig meat, pork, but we still call chicken meat, chicken?

olol

that guy is awesome. wut does it say on his stomach?

suppose to say butcher4life but i think i left the c out, paint is the dumbz

now that i look @ it totally burhered that

l0l n00b

Scooter, I have been reading about your performance on the job and it is nice to see you are doing it for the lulz.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1056486/Ambulance-worker-prawn-heart-attack-mans-head-cook-electric-shock.html

things that go stab wrote:Scooter, I have been reading about your performance on the job and it is nice to see you are doing it for the lulz.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1056486/Ambulance-worker-prawn-heart-attack-mans-head-cook-electric-shock.html

Best idea ever!

btw, im about to be eating the meats again as soon as my brother kills something. I think I have almost the exact same outlook on eating meat as you joe. Grass fed, small farm, no giant factory slaughter house where dudes lop off appendages and get little to know help when it comes to healthcare. I might have to give in at least once and get a bronco burger though. Nothin like spit and crack to make an amazing burger.

off to work!

Fuck yeah I do. I wanted my nickname to be the baconator but fuckin wendys stole that shit